Friends Forever

Listening to: Bury Your Head - Saosin

Mood: Tired

A friend once said to me that best friends are people who "prove" themselves to you. He didn't specify how they were to prove themselves, but he said you just knew that they have proven themselves worthy to be your best friend when they've done something incredible. And as I was lying awake in bed, as you do, my brain started churning away when it should've been shutting down. You know, when one thought leads to another and before you know it you have this huge mind-map, this huge tree of thoughts that branched its root from a simple question.

After he said this to me, I began to re-evaluate the few I consider my best friends. He informed me that he only has one best mate, as best friends/mates is something prestigious and should been given away as a title almost like an award. But I have so many people throughout my life I have considered my best friends, sure some have come back to bite me really hard on the ass, and some have stuck around, but many we're simply just not as close as we use to be, but we're still "best friends". And this whole "proving" throws me off a little, but I can see where he's coming from.

Here's an example, I have this girl in my grade at the moment and she suffers severe asthma. She never had it prior to her hike up Mount. Kilimanjaro and ever since then she has suffered life-threatening asthma attacks where her lungs fill with fluids and she can basically drown from internal fluids. Ok, that's the background of this friendship. Last year I witnessed something that has earnt the respect of this girl, let's call her T and the girl with asthma K. As a grade we went and had a dinner, like a little Christmas dinner, farewell for the summer sort of thing, and we were all dancing away when suddenly K has an asthma attack. Though, she goes everywhere prepared, steriods around her neck, and a bag full of drugs ready to be injected. I watched as T calmly called the ambulance after she injected her, I watched as T carefully dealt with the situation with calmness on her side as the rest of the grade stared in shock and fear. I admit, I was freaking out. I'm friends with K and it was difficult to see her suffer like that, I was too scared to more or act, but T just went about it. Does that define a best friend? I know for actual fact that they are, and have been even before her incident on Mount. Kilimanjaro.

I have this friend, C, I've known her since I was 10 and we use to do everything together, and I do mean everything. We hung out with only each other, until we hit highschool. The coming of Year 7 saw a dramatic change in who we hung out with and how much time was allocated to each other. Regardless, we still hung out during the weekends, but during the week we saw different people and sat apart. Year 8 saw my departure from that school, she was the only one who knew before I left that I was leaving. She even cried on my last day at school whilst everybody judged her, she kept my secret safe. And since then, well the time we've spent together has diminished to birthdays, which means twice a year and perhaps a few run in here and there. Sad thing is, we live so close to each other, our schools are so close, technology is blooming, and yet the friendship has seem to come to a stand still. Surprisingly, whenever I'm with her we talk like there's no tomorrow and it seems as if nothing's changed. She was always there for me, and I hope I was there for her too. We experienced the transition from children to teenagers together, and soon, teenagers to young women.

Mr. D, I've known him since I was 3, so that's 15 years. I won't lie, there are HUGE gaps in those 15 years where contact was lost completely, albeit the fact he lived 10m across the road. Yeap, he was a pre-school friend who became my neighbour, yet contact was rare, even when I lived there. Since I've moved, technology became our source of contact, and still today it is. We rarely see each other, and to be quite honest, for both Mr.D and Miss.C, I don't know much about them anymore. I have memories of times we've shared, but I don't know them. If you asked me what's their favourite colour, I couldn't tell you. What's their favourite food, drink, show, celebrity? - I couldn't answer. Sure ask me their birthday, ethnicity, phone numbers, email addresses, number of siblings and I can answer in a heartbeat. But do either friendships fit the mould that is a best friend?

So C and D I've known for a substantial period of my life, how about newer friendships that have been forged? Could they be determined to be best friends already, or is it too soon to say?

I've known G since my move to my new school, so it's been 4 years. In the past 4 years we've gotten to know each other quite well. We do a tonne of things together, she sleeps over once every week without fail. She's slept over my house for a week straight. My parents treat her like she's their child. Ask me who's her celebrity crush, whether she has a boyfriend, whether she's kissed someone yet, food she loathes, and I can easily answer them. I see her at least once everyday at school, and we frequently call each other and talk for long periods of time, whereas the other's I simply text. However, she has a myriad of people she regard as her best friends, and honestly I sometimes wonder where I stand. Perhaps this is what my friend meant when he said it was a privilege to be called someone's best friend.

LL I've known for about 3 years, and our friendship is built on many similarities. The love for music, and the arts. Some similar experiences, and many secrets shared. I don't know why, or how, but I trusted her so quickly and easily it scared me. We have frequent gaps of a good 6-7 months where we don't talk at all, then when we do we're constantly chatting on msn, texting or whatnot. I know at least 3 other people who's relationship with me is similar to this, well somewhat. JJ was a guy I had a major crush on and pursued a friendship with. AJ was someone I met through school and somehow a friendship has formed. Not sure how, it just has, we share nothing in common, we're almost polar opposites you could say. B is similar to LL. However, the last three I frequently see them and talk to them in person, or through the phone, especially B and AJ as we go to school together.

So, I've present a plethora of relationships I have and that I perceive as good friends, but do any of them fall under the best friend category? Have any of them done something so incredible that my life has hit a 180 because of it? Well, many of them have done things that I appreciate. Some have driven over an hour to come see me perform, or have come out to pick me up at 1am somewhere an hour away. Do these things count, or are they things that friends should do regardless of how "best" they are?

Personally, I'm one of those people who would rather 1 close friend over 10 friends, I have always said this about myself. Thinking about it now, am I one of those people? Out of these people, who is my best friend, or are they simply so different that you can't choose one and you must have several to appease your needs?

xx