The Perfect Body

So as I flicked through this weekend's newspaper I realised that body-image is becoming more and more out of hand. First it was girls and their anorexia, bulimia and now it's men with their bigorexia.

Having attended an all girl's school for the past 8 years, the whole idea of the perfect body image is ridiculous. It's imposed at every turn in magazines, other girl's, family. It seems to be endless.

It was only recently that I really started to become comfortable in my own body and eat what I please, when I please. Before I use to skip several meals and count every single calorie I consume and ensure it was no more than 1200.

My better half has really helped me overcome this problem and I'm grateful that she has helped me overcome something that I've struggled with for my whole life. But that's not to say I don't have days where I just simply feel disgusted, like a few nights ago I consumed a whole block of Lindt chocolate and a whole packet of chocolate digestive biscuits. I still binge every now and then, which I should really learn to stop doing.

However, I've always seem to hear all my friends complain about something. My best friend complains about how she's not pretty enough and therefore no boys will ever like her. My better half, as much as I tell her otherwise, still believes she's fat. Both don't see that their not ugly or fat, respectively. I can tell them every day and it wouldn't matter.

Firstly, I think my best friend's got many amazing attributes working for her. Internal and external. Secondly, my better half, she's absolutely beautiful and gorgeous. I tell her this all the time and she seems to ignore me. Hopefully if I keep telling her, one of these days it'll stick. Patience is virtue.

My brother on the opposite hand always feels the need to "buff" up. He works out in our home gym an hour every morning which includes weights and cardio. In the afternoon, after school he will go play tennis with friends and/or do 2hrs worth of tennis training. So all up he does about 3hrs of exercise a day, which is ridiculous considering I do an hour and a half of ballet a week by comparison.

No matter what you think or feel you look like, somebody else out there will be jealous of what you have.

xx

Twenty-Ten

Listening to: "Across The Universe" (Film)

Mood: Tired

Every year people swear to abide by their new set of new year's resolution. People creating a list of things they want to begin or change, the new goals for the year that are somewhat destined to fail. At least, that's the experience I've had with my own resolutions. As the year rolls to a close, nothing seems to have been achieved to the extent I had hoped. This is year is no different, except I didn't get to stay up till 2 in the morning eating junk and writing out the list with my best friend.

Thus far the last few years my resolutions have consisted of "staying fit" and "doing well at school". These, however, have proven futile over the years. So this year, the final year of the first decade in the new millennium I decided instead of the typical, "doing well at school" which should be a given especially now after all the hard work I put into getting into university.

So what do I plan to do for the next 11 months?

• be more confident in myself

Sure, it's only one thing; baby steps. If I only set myself one or two goals I'm more likely to achieve them than if I had a long list of things. However, I did want to begin ballet, which I have successfully done, now all I have to do is continue and not quit.

I guess I also want to be a little less shy when I'm around new people. I've always been the type of person who sits and observes everything first, then on the second or so meeting I'll be able to talk a little more freely. This year, more than ever, I'll really have to be more confident and less shy as I'll be throw in an environment where everything will be different at school.

There are definitely other things I want to do, such as, not being so secretive and being more open to voice my opinions and feelings. I've always been the type to bottle everything up, even when I talk to my better half, which is frustrating on her part.

This year I don't want all my resolutions merely to be an exterior, superficial thing. I want to change myself, make myself better permanently.

So for the next 11 months I will aim to achieve:

• being more confident
• being more vocal
• being less shy

xx

Being Chinese

Listening to: "The Con" - Tegan & Sara

Mood: Excited

Tomorrow marks Australia's 222nd Birthday. A day where the feel of patriotism is heightened and reaches it's zenith. However, with this heightened patriotism of the homeland that is Australia, comes a slight hand of racism. Though this underlying sense of racism has always been present it isn't until a holiday where the booze is running that racism becomes more predominate.

Being an Asian, I have noticed how differently I am treated compared to my friends. I don't really have Asian friends, they're almost all caucasian, and going out with them you can really see the difference. I was born and raised in Sydney, Australia so I've been told I don't have an accent at all, and my mindset is that of an Australian and not Chinese.

So what have I seen? Well I haven't really been attacked as such for being Chinese, maybe a few sly comments here and there, but nothing that really hurt me. But having said that, I never really identified myself as an Asian, so I guess racist comments weren't really taken into account. To be completely honest, I throw racist comments about Asians all the time, which is really rather bad.

The main thing I've noticed, is the slowed and clarified speech. I used to find this irritating and begin to talk REALLY fast and clear in English (those Speech&Drama classes for 10 years really comes in handy hear for clarity of speech), but now I simply find it hilarious. It seems to be automatic in those who do it as sometimes after my fast and clear English, they still continue to talk slowly and articulated.

Despite being a multi-cultured society, this underlying racism is never going to be completely eradicated. We're all Australians, so what makes some people think they're more superior? To be completely truthful, Aboriginals were the first Australians as they were here first. The first fleet brought over convicts from Britain, so they too are technically immigrants in this country. Sure I may be the first generation immigrant in my family, but I consider myself Australian. Despite the cultural clashes and the missing of a complete "all-Australian" childhood, I still identify as an Australian.

Nobody has the right to tell someone else where he or she belongs. Every person has the right to discover where they belong without fear.

Valentine's Day

Listening to: "The L Word S4E1" (TV show)

Mood: Exhausted

My family business thrives off the business we receive during the Valentine's day period. It is a big time of year where we are busiest, hence me working full time immediately after completing my HSC.

So as I slaved away in the 30 degree humid weather, I realised something; Valentine's day is futile. It's a day where people go out and splash money on things that are overpriced for that day. A single rose would normally sell for about $5, but on Valentine's day it would sell for about $15.

I'm not saying I don't like the meaning behind Valentine's day, it's more the fact that it's become such a marketing scheme. My main concern about this stupid day is the fact that there is a dedicated day out of 365 days a year that people show and prove that you love the one you do. That is pure bullshit. Why must you only show and prove that you love your loved one only one day? What about the other 364 days?

I love my girl, and I try to show her that every day. It's pathetic that people only get lovey dovey on that one day. If you love them, show them at every moment, every turn. It shouldn't be a mere 24hr bug then suddenly you're back to reality where you don't show you love each other any more.

Today my father said something that annoyed me. The Minister for climate change and water is Penny Wong, a Chinese and a lesbian. I aspire to work in the legal field, and my father said, "you're better than Penny Wong, because you're not gay." Who's to say that straight people are more superior than gays? Straight people already get all the rights that THEY deserve, but gays don't because their inferior. Well there's no discrimination there, no breach of human rights. It's absolute utter bullshit.

Same sex; same entitlements.

xx