For Happiness Sake

In the past couple of days I've had several sit down talks with my parents. The hot topic? My better half, whom they only know as my best friend. They fear that she'll, herself single handedly, will turn me gay. Why? Because being gay is a disease. The all up almost 3hr talk just consisted of them telling me that I have to keep my distance. The first night they agreed they'd be crossing the line by telling me NOT to be friends with her, however, the second night they decide to tell me I have to widen the distance between the two of us.

My parents constantly instill the fact that I have to remain straight to make them happy. What they don't seem to realise is that by them wanting me to make them happy, I'm reducing my happiness. My girl makes me the happiest I've ever been and by them telling me I can't be with her is selfish on their part. Understandably, if I went off with her, I'd be the selfish one. So how's anyone to win?

All my life, all I have done is try to make everyone around me happy. Whether it's by splashing out some money, or doing things for them I know they'll appreciate and love. But now, the one thing I truly want for myself, I can't have. The one thing that makes me happiest in the world, is being barred from my life.

All I truly want is to be able to spend time with her without having to make up some bullshit about who I'm with, and where I am. I wish that when she's over my place, I can hold and cuddle her when I want.

It's obvious my parents know there's something going on, however, they like to live in a world where they believe that their perfect little girl can't do anything wrong, so blame it on someone else. It's always been that way, the blame game. They know that I want to keep everyone happy, especially them, so they try to wedge that into me now and try to get me to end this. Little do they realise though, that I've been in love with her for the last 5 years, and that isn't exactly something that's easily ended.

So how does one maintain the equilibrium of their own happiness and someone else's? Sacrifice has to be made, but at who's expense?

xx